Category Archives: Killing Adonis

Killing Adonis by J.M. Donellan reviewed by J.M. Donellan

KA review

First of all, I was highly disappointed that this novel was not written by Tim Winton. As every reviewer knows, the only good novels in Australia are those that are either written by Tim Winton or try very extremely hard to sound like his work with the addition of a mild idiosyncratic twist. Perhaps a giraffe with OCD and a drinking problem or a sexually confused parking inspector with a penchant for Scandinavian taxidermy.

This book has received a slew of favourable reviews. Books + Publishing said ‘This is a writer with a deft handle on his craft’, Book’d Out called it a ‘surprising page turner‘ and Glamadelaide went so far as to comment that Killing Adonis is ‘great, inventive storytelling from an exciting new Australian author.’ Frankly I don’t see what all the fuss is about. As a post-modern western space opera it leaves a lot to be desired, as an erotic kung fu saga it is (almost) completely lacking in either sex scenes or kung fu sequences and as a technical manual for the Atari 800 it is beyond useless. After reading all 450 pages of this book I am still have no idea how to reboot my mainframe in the event of a lightning strike or zombie apocalypse.

 Killing Adonis is incompatible with:  

Inflatable pool 01       xbox one       Matrix_007

Killing Adonis is completely lacking in digital features. I tried a vast range of swiping and voice commands and it was obstinately unresponsive. The novel is not compatible with OSX , Xbox, Linux or the Matrix and all attempts to connect to WiFi or Bluetooth met with disaster. Furthermore, it proved entirely inadequate as a floatation device in even the most rudimentary inflatable pool testing and when I tried to use it to assemble my newly purchased Ikea wardrobe it was nothing short of unusable.

walther P99

Under ballistics testing, the book did prove somewhat more capable. Its 450 pages and pleasingly tactile faux leather cover do serve to reduce the velocity of a Walther P99 at a distance of 300 feet. However, at closer proximity the bullet will penetrate all the way through, so use with caution.

Overall I’d give this book 5 stars (out of 100) and unreservedly recommend it as a bullet resistant accessory but strongly encourage anyone who is looking for a Tim Winton penned futureproof Bluetooth enabled erotic space opera to look elsewhere. Available from all good bookstores (and some of the bad ones).

 

Killing Adonis launch party sneak preview.

Hey dudes I made a little sneak preview video for the launch with my friend the amazing incredible astonishing etc Sandi Darling who runs a cool parents blog at Milk Eyes.  Note: this video features lots of big shiny drugs. Don’t forget to RSVP to Events@PanteraPress.com. Facebook event is here. 

Killing Adonis now available for preorder TELL EVERYONE AND THEIR GRANDMAS

DEAREST THE UNIVERSE KILLING ADONIS IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER LOTS OF PLACES EVERYONE GO BUY IT PLEASE I HAVE KIDS TO FEED.*

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Avid Reader

Google Play books

Amazon

Itunes

*Not human children of course, just baby goats. But those things eat a LOT!

PS Don’t forget everyone in the world except Chris Brown and Gina Rinehart is invited to the book launch/warehouse party. 

KILLING ADONIS BOOK LAUNCH

All right internet, this is the big one. I’ve been waiting four goddamn years for this and you can bet your grandma’s kitten we are going to have a party to remember. FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS SWEET LINEUP!

lucy fox      kaitlyn plyley                                                  LUCY FOX                                          KAITLYN PLYLEY

dizzy miss lizzy           POETRY IS DEAD@thejudith-14

DIZZY MISS LIZZY                                            POETRY IS DEAD

rivermouth

RIVERMOUTH

What a bunch of genius babes. Plus there’ll be site design and art from Sandi Darling and Anna Cooke, fireworks, food trucks, cheap beers and all kinds of shenanigans. Entry is just a small donation, 100% of which will go towards the performers. What kind of IDIOT would miss a party like that? Not you, obviously. See you there.

Screenshot 2014-09-03 09.37.42CLICK HERE for facebook event page.

CLICK HERE to download a pdf of the invitation: KILLING ADONIS Book Launch 27 September 2014

CLICK HERE to watch a news anchor being pwned by a chicken.

Killing Adonis cover reveal

Killing Adonis_JM Donellan_3D

 

Dearest denizens of the interwebs, I am extremely incredibly tremendously and wondrously thrilled to present to you the cover of my forthcoming novel Killing Adonis. I’m hugely impressed with the team at Xou Creative as well as my publisher Pantera Press for coming up with a design that enigmatically alludes to the dark and comedic aspects of the novel in a way that is captivating and unusual. The cover itself will have a faux leather feel, and as a huge book nerd I’m excited that it will have a special little tactile element.

The blurb is as follows:

LIGHT DUTIES.

LARGE PAY. 

NO QUESTIONS ASKED OR ANSWERED.

After receiving a curious invitation, Freya takes a job caring for Elijah, the comatose son of the eccentric Vincetti family. She soon discovers that the Vincetti’s corporate rivals have a nasty habit of being extravagantly executed, their labyrinthine mansion hides a wealth of secrets and Elijah was never the saint they imagine him to be.

 As if that’s not enough, Marilyn Monroe keeps appearing, apparently unaware of the fact that she’s very much deceased. And there’s something very strange about the story that Elijah’s brother Jack is writing…

 Killing Adonis is a tragicomic tale about love, delusion, corporate greed and the hazards of using pineapple cutters while hallucinating. 

The launch party will be held at the Motor Room in West End on September 27 and 100% of everyone everywhere is invited. This will not be your ordinary book launch, we are going to have slam poets, bands, circus performers, fireworks and all manner of wonderful weirdness. Official event page and invites will be available soon. See you there.

ex oh ex oh

JD

Killing Adonis Mixtape

A lot’s happened in the last four years. Australia’s had 3 Prime Ministers, the Catholics have had 2 different popes, scientists confirmed the existence of the Higgs boson and I finally fucking finished my third book. After signing with the wonderful Pantera Press two years ago, the novel has shifted and morphed in strange, wonderful and surprising ways and ended up like the Super Saiyan version of its original embryonic form. I am incredibly, stupendously, tremendously excited to unleash this little collection of letters and thoughts out into the world. I’m confident that it’s unlike anything else that will be released this year. That doesn’t guarantee that will people will like it of course, but people go wild for dinosaur erotica or goji berries for no apparent reason so there’s no point trying to keep up with the zeitgeist if you ask me. For all I know the next book craze will be a YA series written from the perspective of a time-travelling monkey ninja who speaks only in alliterative rhyming couplets (I would read the hell out of that book).

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“The camera loves you JD! Actually, no, it doesn’t. But it’s okay I’m a great photographer so these’ll still look good.” -Actual quote from the photographer.

As a strange sort of preview ahead of the book’s release I made a mixtape for you. Yes, just for you. Now I know what you’re thinking, and it’s both repulsive and physically impossible. I also know what you’re thinking about the word ‘mixtape’ being applied to a book. I’m well aware this is typically the territory of wannabe rappers and gangly sixteen-year-olds trying to get laid, but I’ve been both in my time and I believe that when it comes to art, it is very much about what you can get away with.

Each of the 37 tracks here mirrors one of the chapters in the book, serving as a sort of literary soundtrack. Most of these bands were on constant repeat while I was writing Killing Adonis, so it’s also something of a snapshot of the creative process (for those of you who take an interest in such things). In addition, it features a couple of bands from my beloved hometown of Brisbane, where the novel is set. The selection samples everything from orchestral to electronic to hip-hop to post-rock. I hope you find something that takes your fancy, and as a musician myself I strongly encourage you to go out and buy the albums of any of these bands that you enjoy here. Most of them have a bandcamp site where you can get their stuff for super cheap.

Get your eyeballs ready, Killing Adonis is coming in October!

PS I just got confirmation that I’ll be appearing at the National Young Writers’ Festival around the same time the book is released. Feel free to come and heckle me.

Blog Tour

Hello there humans and approximate facsimiles, I am excited to tell you that this week I am in the middle of a blog tour. A blog tour is basically like a hedonistic punk rock tour except without all the hotel room trashing. Or chain smoking. Or public performance. Or actual touring. But what it does mean is that I get to talk to people all over the world via the comfort of my couch and pyjamas. The tour includes a couple of interviews with different blogs and a few different pieces I’ve written on different aspects of writing, plus a tiny confession about when I pretended to be a woman. I’ll be cataloguing them all here, feel free to respond either in comments below or on the various websites hosting the tour.

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Interview with Ravina

Screenshot 2013-10-22 09.21.20 copy

Becoming Your Character guest post at Bunny’s Review

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Your Setting As A Character guest post at High Class Books

book professor

Interview with the Book Professor 

I’ll update this post as more tour things happen. I hope your day is filled with guitar solos and high fives.

Look ma! I’ve gone viral!

Remember when Australia had a Minister for Science? Ah, good times, good times. Well, back in those dizzy halcyon days in the distant past (about a month ago) I wrote an angry little letter to Teresa Gambaro. It was just before the election and I was feeling angry and confused about the state of politics in general, but particularly in regards to Gambaro, owing to the fact that she was my local member, an unabashed racist and a chronic snail mail spammer. I emailed it, tweeted it and posted it right here on my little corner of the interwebs. And then this happened:

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Over the next few days my little rant was shared, retweeted and ‘liked’ more than 10 000 times. I’d had a few posts get shared around before, like this complaint letter I wrote to QANTAS and this dating profile,  but never on this scale. Most amusingly, hundreds of people (including one of my literary heroes and chronic heartbreaker Marieke Hardy) retweeted my post directly at Gambaro. I had friends tell me they heard colleagues discussing it at work, overheard people talking about it in bars and, hilariously, it was printed and read out at the start of a local ALP volunteers meeting. The comments section quickly exploded into a rather chaotic clusterfuck of compliments and death threats, which I responded to here (scroll down to the bottom).

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Having thousands of people tell you that you are witty and insightful over the course of a couple of days does very strange things to the ego. Imagine if one day 2 000 strangers came up to you in the street and said “Can I just tell you that you are really attractive?” It would be flattering to the point of being unnerving.

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Vitriolic insults, unsurprisingly, have a profoundly converse affect. Imagine that in addition to those 2 000 compliments per day, you had around a dozen people approach you in the street, spit in your face and snarl “You make me sick and I hope you get hit by a bus and then the bus backs up over you just to be sure and then everyone on the bus gets out and shits all over your ugly, stupid carcass and then after you’re dead someone names a profoundly awful flesh eating disease after you and the disease in question immediately causes everyone you’ve ever loved to vomit blood until they die and they are all buried in a shallow grave that rabid dogs will gather round to ritually piss on!” Sure, you’ve just heard 2 000 compliments and you’re pretty buzzed about that, but damn, those dozen strangers REALLY HATE YOU.

zombie-audrey-hepburn-make-up-3

“Uh-oh, looks like someone’s got a case of the Donellans!”

It was something of an emotional rollercoaster, to say the very least. And while it was a rush to have something I’d made become so popular, I certainly don’t think that popularity alone is inherent proof of value or quality. Some of my favourite writers and poets have never cracked the best-seller list, meanwhile Billy Ray Cyrus sold millions of copies of Achy-Breaky Heart (and don’t even get me started on his daughter).

The strangest thing about the whole experience of living the Gen Y dream of going viral was reflecting on the fact that a 400 word rant that took me half an hour to write, edit and post has now been read by far more people than either of my novels. Those two books collectively represent five years of sweat, sleeplessness, agonising over commas and cuts, grinding my teeth over characters and subplots, stressing over cover designs and marketing approaches, dozens of meetings with publishers and editors and one vaguely related trip to the hospital.

going-viral007

I’ve been working on my latest book, Killing Adonis, for 4 goddamn years now. That’s longer than I’ve ever kept a job or stayed in a relationship and longer than it took me to took get either of my degrees. I’ve written parts of it in Brisbane and Lisbon and Pnom Penh and Bogotá and Buenos Aires and New York. I’ve rewritten the ending five times. I’ve changed the title. I’ve added and removed characters and subplots. And at the end of all that, I have a roughly 85 000 word novel that will probably be read by about half as many people as my cantankerous little letter. Of course, the difference is that viral posts tend to buzz around the web like digital bees on blue meth for a couple of days and then die out, whereas books are absorbed more slowly, and are cherished and shared over a protracted period of time. So now I just have to hope and pray at least a few thousand people enjoy this collection of words that I have poured my heart, soul, brain, liver and appendix into, or at least hate it for all the right reasons.