A few days ago, during the blurry concluding moments of a
satisfactorily debaucherous party I had been hosting, we got onto the
subject of quantum mechanics. Now my knowledge in this area is
superficial at the best of times, (I’ve been doing some preliminary
research for my next book), but at 3am after consuming most of a bottle
of tequila and the worm dwelling within I managed to start inexpertly
rambling about the Copenhagen Interpretation and Many Worlds Theory.
Embarrassingly, one of the two other people involved in the discussion
was a PhD student whose research included work in this area and the
errors in my statements were pointed out before I could manage to
drunkenly talk my way around them. I am normally able to do this quite
capably owing to the fact that I inexplicably become more verbose and
articulate when drunk. I also frequently develop the notion that I am
the world’s greatest dancer, and then proceed to epileptically flail
like a monkey on psycho-amphetamines. But that’s neither here nor
there, (nor on youtube, thankgod…)

In any case, my initial
research into this field has left me questioning my place in the
universe(s) to the point that I am having trouble sleeping. I’ve always
been confused by people who say that they have recognised their part in
the universe is insignificant and regard this as somehow emancipating.
I believe the exact opposite. It takes just one single human being who
generates just ONE seminal idea to change the entire world. Look at the
impact of inspirational artists, activists and scientists like
Einstein, Picasso, Martin Luther King and Larry Graham. Yeah that’s
right Larry Graham. Imagine a world without slap bass. No, wait, don’t.
It would be so horrible that your heart may spontaneously implode and I
don’t want to be indirectly responsible for that unless you are Sarah
Palin, in which case go ahead.



worlds theory, and I apologise for the hugely inappropriate brevity of
this description, claims that every action or inaction ever performed
by every living thing anywhere, ever creates a parallel universe. Ever
time you drink dial your ex girlfriend, every time you eat one too many
chocolate chip cookies, every time you mean to start reading ‘War and
Peace’ but end up watching ‘Australian Idol’ you create a tangent
reality. Your actions, according to this theory, do not only change the
entire world, but CREATE entire new universes. Imagine something like
the word of god with tourettes:


don’t believe human beings are in the least bit insignificant. I
believe the true tragedy is that we live in a society where so few not
only reach our full  staggering potential, but never even recognise
that we are capable of creating change on a colossal scale. Every one
of us is capable of becoming Ted Bundy or Mahatma Ghandi, Osama or
Obama, Stalin or Steiner. Tragically, most of us end up as nothing more
than Joe the plumber. Then again, McCain did seem to think he was
fairly pivotal in the last election….






3 responses to “TEQUILA WORMHOLES”

  1. daz Avatar

    Hrm. I disagree when you infer that ending up as ‘Joe the Plumber’ is a tragedy. Everyone has a place in this reality, and whether that is being someone that is considered subjectively ‘great’ or just’ordinary’ is, I think, irrelevant.
    I get the feeling you’re saying that life is about ‘creating forces that change human reality’, and I think thats a tall ask (in fact, it probably easier to create negative change rather than positive change…simply go blow up a government building or something, that will get your name in the newspaper).
    I believe that this reality is about whether the individual considers that they have lived a fulfilling existence. If that is bringing up a good family, building a house and living a quiet existence, I don’t see how that is any more or less than painting the greatest painting in the world, or being the president of the universe.

  2. daz Avatar

    Your post reminded me of a great Bill Hicks quote which I’m sure you’ve heard…
    The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly coloured, and it’s very loud and it’s fun for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say “Hey! Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.” And we… kill those people. Ha ha ha. “Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and family. This just has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn’t matter because it’s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here’s what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace.

  3. Clarkey Avatar

    I don’t find insignificance incapacitating. In fact it liberates me. The thought that I am just the product of some helium and a bang after 13 billion years of fucking about leaves me filled with joy and questions… like; What now? How fortunate for me right? How can I explore this? What’s for dinner? What should I do with it? (Existence, not dinner) It scares me when I see people living like this has happened before or they have done this before… or like they will get to do it again.