Review of Machiavelli’s the (Artist Formerly Known as) Prince

Penguin books are currently running a competition inviting readers to write a review of their favourite Popular Penguin book. I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring. Here's my entry:

Niccolo Machiavelli's 'The Prince' is, without question, the single worst biography of the Artist Once Again Known As Prince that I have ever read.

Not only does it completely omit any information about Prince at all, it actually spends the entirety of its 110 pages seeking to offer the Artist counsel on how to most efficiently oppress his legions of fans through various political mechanisms and philosophies.


 "Aw HELL NO! You did NOT just tell me how to be the aggressively tryannical monarch of this imperial principality!"

I mean, don't get me wrong, I would vote for Prince whether he wanted to be the President of the USA or the president of my auntie Jill's Tuesday book club (and come to think of it they need a new president seeing as Mavis recently died in an unfortunate highland dancing related incident). However, to presume to give Prince advice on ANYTHING is insufferably presumptuous. Seriously Niccolo, this is the man who wrote PURPLE RAIN. Purple freaking rain! When you’ve sold 80 million albums, had your songs covered by everyone from Chaka Khan to Sinead O’Connor and directed/starred in three feature films then maybe you can start dispensing advice.

Machiavelli_by_Santi_di_Tito "Before all else, be armed (with a purple love symbol shaped guitar)."

Until then I suggest you just kick back, throw a copy of ‘Diamonds and Pearls’ on the stereo and party like it’s 1499.







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