Birthday letter to the queen by Jake Marshall Dunhill, grade 2


Dear the Queen,

How are you? Are you having a good birthday? How is it
being old? Do you like it? Do you want to get even more older or just stay the
same amount of old? Have you been old ever since you were
little, or did you just get old recently?

Do you listen to this song on your birthday, is it about you?

My name is Jake and
the other day it was MY birthday and my sister wasn’t even very nice too me cos
she’s a teen-anger and the only things that teen-angers are good at is sulking
and talking about pop songs. There’s a law against that isn’t there? I'm pretty
sure there is which means she broke the law, so could you please lock her up in
a dungeon somewhere or something? Or maybe make one of your dragons eat her?
Ok, well, maybe not eat her, maybe just kind of really scare her a lot and set
fire to her ipod.

Also I had to go to
school on my birthday. I really think that is very unfair. I want want to
be rude, or anything Mrs. the Queen, but I get to stay home from school on YOUR
birthday so how come I didn’t get to stay home on mine?


Jake Marshall Dunhill, Grade 2

PS  my uncle Frank says one time he got punched in the crown jewels and it hurt like blazes, but I thought that the crown jewels belonged to you and that they live in the Tower records store in London. Why are people punching your jewels and how come it hurts my uncle?


Please don't punch these. It hurts my uncle Frank.