Category: technology is so weird it makes my brain hurt

  • Gatsby 8 bit

    Great Gatsby, the eight bit video game? YES PLEASE!   *sidenote: the wikipedia entry for 'Saturn Return' lists both this book and my novel A Beginner's Guide to Dying in India as literary references. This pleases me in strange and unusual ways.

  • Dear vending machine in the emergency ward at the Royal Brisbane hospital: I hate you.

    Not only do you have the motherfucking nerve to charge $2.70 for a nestle crunch bar, but open insertion of my hard earned currency, you fail to deliver said exorbitantly priced confectionary. Not only this, but considering how long it took to get the clerical staff to admit my chronically ill progenitor I was correct…

  • For sale: Midi keyboard formerly owned by Ludwig Van Beethoven

    (Link to the full ebay ad is here.) I'm about to head to New York and then Colombia to do some "research" for my next book, Adonis Comma Coma. I need to raise some funds to assure that I can afford to drink Manhattans in Manhattan and to that end I'm selling off a few…

  • FUTURE SPECS: putting the “art” in party

        YOU: "Oh hey man, how's it going?"     THEM: "Oh hey there guy! Well, you know, pretty good, Carol's been redecoratising the living room and my little girl got a triple double goldstar trophy sceptre for her report on Miley Cyrus." YOU: "Um…I'm pretty sure that there's no such thing as a triple double…

  • DEAR HAND DRYER AT THE NGV: I HATE YOU.

    Yesterday I was criticised by a hand dryer. I’ve suffered a kaleidoscopic cocktail of various kinds abuse and criticism over the years from a malicious milieu of teachers, critics, random strangers and the occasional soon to be ex lover. Attracting reprimand from an inanimate bathroom appliance however, is something new even for me. Whilst drying…