Category: new york limes best smelling author

  • Diet Tips from the Vampire Girl With a Dragon Tattoo Who Played a Game of Thrones With Fire

    Good Morrow to you, Sirs and Madams of the Big Six consortium of publishers! I trust you are well. Before I tell you about the EXCITING!!!! opportunity I am offering you today, I have to ask, are you ever concerned by the fact that your informal collective moniker sounds like some kind of crime syndicate?…

  • My Dearest Target

    My Dearest Target, How are you? I trust you are enjoying the start of the Christmas period, which I imagine major retailers look forward to with all the anticipation of a sex addict awaiting a holiday in Ibiza. Yesterday I was perusing your shelves in search of a toiletries bag that I had believed I…

  • Illustrator acquired!

      Ladies and Gentlememes, I am so excited about this announcement THAT I AM GOING TO USE CAPS UNTIL THE END OF THIS SENTENCE! My publisher, Odyssey Books, and I have found an illustrator/cover artist for Zeb and The Great Ruckus (the novel that will inspire a generation of children to pick up guitars and…

  • Eighty Nine now available everywhere and everywhen

       My contribution (as well as the other stories) from the Eighty Nine literary mixtapes anthology are now online. You can read them for free here, (you cheapskates), and then purchase a copy from the site or amazon if you want to hold it in your hot little hands.  The writers participating in this…

  • New York Limes best smelling author

    Dearest Interwebs, as you are probably aware, I am an author. An author is a bit like a politician in that we are paid money to make up lies, but an author does this extremely well for almost no money whereas a politician does this very badly for lots of money and sometimes a moat.…