Tag: christmas

  • Literally the ugliest thing ever built in all of human history

    My Dearest Brisbane City Council, I hope that the first days of 2012 have treated you well and that you are recovering from your collective hangover, which I imagine a government body experiences as a sort of hive mind shared headache coupled with an inexplicable desire to eat copious quantities of Tim Tams. Recently on…

  • How To Do Your Xmas Shopping Without Losing Your Will To Live

    I hate shopping. And not just because I'm an 'anti-consumerist hippie.' I hate trying stuff on, I hate waiting in queues and I hate the fact that stores play insufferable techno music with a high BPM that is specifically selected to impair your impulse control systems.    "You know, I thought that $149.95 for a…

  • My Dearest Target

    My Dearest Target, How are you? I trust you are enjoying the start of the Christmas period, which I imagine major retailers look forward to with all the anticipation of a sex addict awaiting a holiday in Ibiza. Yesterday I was perusing your shelves in search of a toiletries bag that I had believed I…