1 You shouldn’t be scared of lightning because it’s just God farting lasers.
2 Having hearing aids is good because when people say mean things about you, you can just turn them off. LINGUISTIC INVINCIBILITY BITCHES!
3 The reason why daddy sometimes sleeps on the couch is probably because he wets the bed.
4 In the olden days – when Grandma was a baby – people used to ride dinosaurs to work.
5 When you die you turn into a skeleton and when the full moon rises you come back from the dead and go looking for treasure.
6 When the giant volcano erupts, the only things left in the world will be one lion, one diamond and one toilet.